Issue No. 5: When it feels like you’ve backtracked

When it feels like you’ve backtracked

Hi readers,

Something I have been thinking about lately is how easy it is to feel like you are “regressing” in nervous system recovery work.

You can understand the concepts. You can know that fear, pressure, and symptom monitoring tend to keep the brain and nervous system on high alert. You can even understand outcome independence and know that the goal is not to use every tool as a sneaky way to make symptoms disappear. And still, when a symptom flares or something feels off, you might find yourself reacting with fear again. You might start checking, worrying, researching, pushing, fixing, or quietly hoping that if you do the “right” nervous system thing, the symptom will finally go away.

I think that can feel really discouraging. It can make you wonder, “Have I learned anything? Am I back where I started?”

But I don’t think that is always what is happening.

Sometimes progress is not that you never react with fear. Sometimes progress is that you notice you are reacting with fear. Sometimes progress is realizing, “I am putting a lot of pressure on myself right now,” or “I am trying to force this symptom to go away,” or “I have not really been taking care of myself this week.” That awareness might not immediately change the feeling in your body, but it does mean something has shifted. You are no longer completely inside the old pattern without seeing it.

For me, this is where community can be massively helpful.

When you are in your own head, it is so easy to focus on what still feels hard. You notice every symptom, every spiral, every moment where you did not respond the way you wish you had. But then you talk to a friend, a family member, a healthcare provider, or someone who knows what you have been through, and they can sometimes reflect back a much wider picture.

They might remind you that you caught the spiral faster than you used to. Or that you asked for support instead of shutting down. Or that you are speaking about your symptoms with more curiosity than fear. Or that even though you are having a hard moment, you are not relating to it in exactly the same way you used to.

That matters.

Awareness is progress. Noticing is progress. Being able to say, “I am scared right now, and I also know this might be my nervous system trying to protect me,” is progress. It does not mean you have to love the symptom. It does not mean you are perfectly outcome independent. It just means your brain is starting to have more options than the old automatic fear response.

One simple thing you can try today: the next time you feel like you have backtracked, ask yourself, “What am I noticing now that I might not have noticed before?” Maybe you are noticing the fear sooner. Maybe you are noticing the urge to fix. Maybe you are noticing that you need rest, food, movement, boundaries, reassurance, or connection. Maybe you are noticing that you are being really hard on yourself.

None of that means you are failing. It may actually mean you are becoming more aware of the pattern, which is one of the first ways the pattern starts to change.

We also just started releasing free nervous-system infographics and tools that may be helpful for moments like this. You can find them here. There is much more coming, and we are excited to keep building resources that make this work feel more practical and less lonely. Feel free to reply with any suggestions!

All the best,

Nora

Co-Founder & CEO, Nervana

Important note: Nervana is an educational nervous-system coaching program and not medical care. If you have new, severe, or worsening symptoms, please seek medical evaluation and follow your clinician’s guidance. This newsletter is general information and not medical advice.